Compulsion For Completion… Revisited.

Full disclosure. I wrote the foundation for this blog post over two years ago. I’ve re-worked it, edited it, and I’m now presenting it to you again here @ 1PBG. The amazing thing about it all, is that it’s still completely relevant, especially this week as I work through a series of relationship posts. As usual, this is my opinion, not the law, so I’m open to other’s ideas. Let me know what you think.

In the past few days, I’ve been hit left and right with a lot of talk about RELATIONSHIPS.

One of the common threads of each of the conversations has been this compulsion to be completed. A lot of people feel that they need a man/woman to make them whole. There is something fundamentally wrong with that statement!

To say that you need to be completed implies that you are not whole. If you are not whole, how can you expect another human to magically make you whole? We give man too much credit! A lot of us have been fed this Hollywood, Superman/Wonder Woman idea of love, which has totally blinded us to what’s real.

Let’s take baggage as an example. You’re in the airport baggage claim, throwing all of your bags to your boyfriend/girlfriend. How can you expect them to carry your 5 bags and their 5 bags all at the same time? It doesn’t work like that, physically or spiritually.


One of the problems that plagues our relationships today is that we put too much faith in the things that a man/woman can do, and not enough faith in the things God can do. The minute you put all of your hope dreams and aspirations into another person, you are leading yourself down a path of destruction and heartache. Eventually, that PERSON will fall short of your expectation, because they are HUMAN, and thus, not PERFECT. Something’s going to happen. Either she’s going to say something you don’t like, or he doesn’t have as much money as he told you he had, somebody cheats… or WHATEVER. The only man to ever walk the earth who was completely sinless and 100% pure, was Christ Himself…also known as GOD.

Because we are impatient, we go out and look for what we think is right for us, leaving God out of the picture. I know I’m guilty of that. The only way to fully succeed in relationships is to correct and strengthen our vertical relationships before we attempt to create binding, horizontal relationships.

The way to a healthy relationship is simple and outlined in scripture:

1. Become the RIGHT person by imitating God. (Ephesians 5:1-2)
2. Walk in love, don’t FALL.
3. Put your hope and faith in God and please Him in your relationship
4. If you fail, (and you will, because 1 is a daily struggle) repeat steps 1-3.

The perfect example of love is what God did for us by sending Christ. (John 3:16)

The next time you get ready to say that you NEED a man or a woman to complete you, think about what you’re saying. You’re not giving yourself enough credit, and more importantly, you’re not giving God enough credit for the work He can do in you.

Just think about it!!


5 thoughts on “Compulsion For Completion… Revisited.”

  1. This post makes me love you even more.

    For me, I rarely have had boyfriends because I didn’t want my identity to be determined of that of a man. I didn’t want to find a man to complete me just add to my life already. I think people don’t know how to successfully be in relationships anymore because they allow sex and etc to taint the true aspect of what it is. Great Post!

  2. my dear,

    this a wonderful post! Primarily because you did not leave out the perfect Man, Christ!!
    Yes, let’s get that vertical relationship right FIRST!

    Let’s get our love walk with others and especially ourselves together BEFORE..

    like you said WE ALL FALL, thanks God for sisters like you who remind us WHO WE ARE AND WHO’S WE ARE AND THAT WE SHOULD WANT MORE BECAUSE WE ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN WE THINK!

    With Love

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