Can’t Be Friends…Or Can We?

Here I am again, inspired by Steve Harvey.

Last week we discussed exactly why you shouldn’t be taking his relationship advice, and he’s adding more fuel to that fire today.

Friendship is not something that you will always understand from the outside. Many times, friendships only make sense to those that are in them. That being said, there is no way anyone can tell me that a man and a woman can not be friends. Notice my choice of words, I said a “man” and a “woman”. Granted, there is a  certain level of maturity that one must possess in order for people of the opposite sex to remain 100% platonic.

Of course, Steve Harvey does not believe this is possible at all. Here’s what he said in a recent interview with CNN:

“He’s your friend only because you have made it absolutely clear that nothing else is happening except this friendship we have. We remain your friend in hopes that one day there will be a crack in the door, a cheek in the arm and trust and believe that guy that you think is your friend will slide in that crack the moment he gets the opportunity. Cause we’re guys.”

Now maybe I’m wrong, but if you value a woman for more than sex, then this statement is a complete fallacy. We all know that anytime we generalize a whole group…the statement we’re trying to make always negates itself. Everyone doesn’t do everything. We’re all different, and just because one person is not capable of doing something, it doesn’t mean that the next person can’t.

I think often times, people speak on things, thinking that their reality is everyone’s reality. This leads to generalizations, misunderstandings, and in this case even greater division between the sexes. The bottom line is, only you can manage your relationships. If you think you are capable of having a friend of the opposite sex, don’t be discouraged or think twice about it because someone told you it’s not possible.

Am I wrong? You let me know!


5 thoughts on “Can’t Be Friends…Or Can We?”

  1. I totally agree with you Andrea. Without a doubt you can be friends with the opposite sex, especially if your maturity level is at a mutual point. I find it odd that Steve Harvey would say that you have to make it clear that you are friends at first. Why can’t you just really be interested in ones friendship and nothing at all? It doesn’t always have to be about the booty, and just cause a man and woman are hanging out doesn’t mean their messing or dating. I’ve seen it, witnessed it, and friendships of the opposite sex are possible.

    kudos to you to bring this forward 🙂

  2. You’re definitely not wrong– we need to take the microphone or the pen away from Steve Harvey.

    A woman and a man can be friends, it’s definitely possible. I don’t know why and when Steve Harvey had this idea that he can somehow give us all advice when I believe this isn’t even his first time being married. Perhaps he’s speaking from his own perspective– but I think men and women definitely can be friends. I admit that some of my real solid male friendships came from physical attraction– and them thinking that something was about to pop off, but once that topic was addressed we’ve been find. I actually find it harder to maintain friendships with people of the same gender, speaking of women.

    Great post again!

  3. “I think often times, people speak on things, thinking that their reality is everyone’s reality.”

    This says it all right here. There are no absolutes that apply to everyone. I’ve had male friends who have never had a sexual interest in me, nor I in them, as well as male friends who aren’t even straight to begin with. It’s harder sometimes to be friends with other women than it is to be friends with men. That’s not to say that stronger feelings can’t develop or that people don’t “settle” for friendship when nothing else is offered, but it’s never cool to generalize.

    Steve Harvey isn’t any type of authority on relationships to me. He is definitely not on his first marriage, has admitted to being unfaithful, and is not the kind of man I want to attract, so taking his advice would defeat my purpose.

  4. Steve Harvey is really milking it!!! I bought the first book….I was not impressed. You have to know who u r as a women!!! No book needed.

  5. Not that I’m defending Steve or his point of view but is it possible that he ma have meant this in reference to ex’s? We all have friends of the opposite sex and usually there aren’t any hitches. But if you have history, doesn’t taht change the game a tad?

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