Today as I was perusing my normal blogs for the latest news, I ran across a link to a blog written by one of my former favorite rappers, Bow Wow. A little back story: For months he has been adamantly denying rumors that he fathered a child with his ex-girlfriend, video model Miss Joie. In the wee hours of this morning, he posted a note on his blog, finally sharing with his fans that he does, in fact, have a beautiful little girl named Shai.
I was ready to applaud his decision to acknowledge his role as a parent, that is, until I got to a point in the note that gave me serious pause. Read it for yourself below:
Let me start off by saying i love my fans. With out yall i wudda been left the game. For the past 3 years i been batteling life. Even thought about taking my own. I felt like as a kid i did everything and saw everything too fast which spoiled my adult years. I felt as if i had no purpose to live(Thinking selfishly) until god gave me the illest gift of my life. No lambo, no blk card nuffn ammounts to my lil girl. I waited so long to tell yall the truth because i was nervous on how yall would look at me. Yall know everyone makes a big deal out of everything i do. I wanted to be 1st n let yall know the real. My lil girl is getting BIG fast. i love every minute of it. She inspires me to go harder.Even made me treat my mother better, its like it made me into a man over night. Never been a fan of posting pix of my daughter. Reason is because i want my boo boo to have everything i didnt. Want her to be able to cheerlead with her lil friends with out some asshole sticking his camera all in my lil girl face. I know how fame is. I missed out on so much that i now know how important it is to cherish and have those things in your life. Yes! I change diapers. Aint as bad as i thought hahaha. I want her to live with me so bad. Jus us 2. Thats my dream man but fellas yall know how it go. Baby gotta stay with they momma and all dat bull. I hate that! So i have to fly 5 hrs away to see her. I find myself going into my i phone book jus lookn at pix of her. Sometimes i tear up cuz i just cant believe it brotha be emotional. All in all im good. This is my 1st. I know all my fans gone support me and ride for her like yall been doin my whole career. To the ones that say “Im heart broken how can he do that to us” well i do have a life thats not all about movies or making albums. Im 24 now. I cant wait 4eva. Im happy and if your a fan then ud be happy too cuz yall gone be with me every step of the way. The bs that comes with having a baby momma is expected. So i neva trip. Jus gotta suck it up keep chin high and try not let her get the best of my feelings by playin them stupid games. Ima stay positive and keep maintaining long as i got yall i cant lose. I love yall. And shai shai daddy love u too! Wizzle!!!!
Cash Money/Young Money
I’m sure Bow will be a good father….but on to the point of this post. I got a little thrown off when he started talking about his daughter’s mother. Now, I don’t know the situation between the two of them, but what I do know is this: we all make choices, and every choice has a consequence. Throwing subliminal “shade” or attacks at your child’s other parent doesn’t make your situation any better…in fact, it makes it worse for the parents, and especially the child. It’s always after the fact that people’s feelings start changing…and our exes become “trifling” or four letter words that might make this blog inappropriate for children’s eyes.
This piece really isn’t about Bow Wow, he’s just the inspiration. Too many times I’ve sat with my friends, and friends of friends discussing the ills of co-parenting, complete with people not pulling their weight, or being completely absentee. The basis of all of these issues? Unhealthy relationships that became further complicated by adding a child to the equation. For the most part, we know the people date/sleep with/allow in our lives. (If we don’t, that could be another root issue of our problems) People don’t normally change, from one day to the next. And even if they do, there are signs and warnings…character flaws, if you will. More often than not, we choose to ignore them, instead of the alternate possibility of breaking up and being lonely.
Sometimes, you have to accept your role in the things that are going wrong in your life. Now in saying that, I’m in no way excusing negligent fathers or mothers who use their children as pawns to get back at their exes. It’s wrong, but, also totally avoidable. Maybe I’m wrong, because I’ve never actually been in this situation personally. From the outside looking in though, I’m over hearing about it.
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